booblah

yea yea so last mondays post was sooo inspiring.. blah blah blah! no im kidding im still blaming everything on myself but i am soooo over being pregnant! seriously this pregnancy thing last way to long! im 31 weeks now and i sure hope this little boy comes early, not too early but early! my goodness i am the fattest roundest thing in the world! ok i know im not but i feel like i am!! and yesterday i caught my husband checking out this cute little blonde sitting poolside! i could have cried and beat the crap out of him all in the same second.. that little episode led to my bad dream that he went to the nasty bar and i beat the tar out of him! needless to say i woke up from that dream so angry that it has affected my whole day! well when i have this baby and get bikini thin for the first time in my life im gonna go to the pool and yell out on a bull horn "hey big fellas.. look over here.. umm can you put come sunscreen on my back? im having a hard time reaching!" then im gonna flip my long blonde hair and make dustin watch from the car! ha well maybe not that exact situation but you get the hint! i think when the wife gets pregnant the man should have to constantly have an eyelash stuck in his eye so its uncomfortable to see!! haha well it makes me laugh! oh gosh life will be so fun when canyon gets here!

CANYON,
come out come out.. i want to hold you in my arms and stare at you all day. Im so excited to meet you, i love you and im getting your room ready so anytime to arrive is a good time with me!
love,
mommy

so, today i cam to the realization that only i can make myself happy! i have the ability to wake up everyday and look at it as a begining with new oportunities. I know it is very sad that it has taken me 23 years to figure this out and dont worry im sure i will forget in about a week and wake up and expect something else do the trick! But as for this moment i am going to try to have a better out look and just accept the things and people that i can not change and just deal with things as they come! Bring it on life because im ready!

Small but enormous

We went to the doctor yesterday and Canyon looks great! His heart is functioning wonderfully and he is practicing breathing, which is great for development! He weighs 2 pounds and 14 ounces... so small but my love for him is so enormous!!! How can you love someone that you havnt even met yet this much?? I dont even know what he looks like! I hope he loves me back because i have been through hell with this little man! He is totally worth it and although i wouldnt want to... i would do it all over for him!!! I just wish the sickness would go away and stay away! But bonus for today is i get to go get my hair done!!! woowoo!! have a good day all!

Week 29

So, this is pregnancy week 29 for me and im sooo ready for it to be over!! But this is a very exciting week for me!! I dont get to do much since i am on bed rest but i do have a busy week. This week i have a doctors appointment and i love doctors appointments because every week i get to see my little man! Most women dont get this but i guess when your high risk your some kinda special! Thats the only plus about all this is i get to see him in there and make sure hes doing wonderful in there weekly! Also i talked my doctor into letting me go get my hair done!! So super exciting! I havnt had my hair done since i was like 16 weeks.. Forever ago!!!! My roots are like 5 inches long now!! Im so excited. Also this saturday is my baby shower!! I am so excited about this because its going to be amazing!!! Even if noone shows up it will be great. I have the best sisters (yea me and sarah like eachother again) and the bestest friend ever! They are going to make this a wonderful shower! I can't wait to see how its gonna turn out! I will post tomarrow with update on how much Canyon weighs this week! I bet hes a big boy or i hope so, then i might have an excuse about the weight gain!!

I am so excited about the fourth of july!! woohoo my husband is going to get me a lay down lawn chair so i can lay outside tomarrow night and watch the fireworks!! This will be our first married and in the new house fourth so i will be curious if our road will be busy with fun colors in the sky! Oh and im gonna have dustin make me some deviled eggs!! yummm my favorite! such and exciting weekend! I will turn 28 weeks pregnant this weekends and thats way better than 23 when i started all this in the house boring bed rest! i can't believe i have made it this far without pulling my hair out! only 8 weeks to go and my canyon will be here! i can't wait to feel that feeling of knowing that no matter what this little man will love me instantly just as much as i love him! But it may sound silly but i am sooooo looking forward to laying on my tummy again! Oh it has been so long. Today while i am home i am researching my next vacation! Well off to the lake in my mind.... have a happy 4th of july!!

par-tayyyyy

ahhhhhh! im am seriously in a bad mood. today i have been on bed rest for over a month and im am so over it! i want my baby to be healthy and happy but seriously the days keep getting longer and all i can do is prepare my speech for next weeks doctors appointment about how this is unnecessary! im very dissappointed in my lovely sister sarah... can you believe that every time a tear falls from her eye i run to catch it before it hits the ground and she has yet to come down and see me and not only that shes a crappy caller backer! now on to my next complaint.. the morning sickness is back and we are not friends!!! oh and its fourth of july weekend and that means that there is a storm brewing in the bownds household! we fight every year on the fourth because dustin is wreckless and selfish with his time and fireworks!! this year will be no different i can assure you.. oh oh and my whole family is headed off to vacation it up while i lay on my booty... it is so sad!!! but everyone reading, dry your eyes and dont cry for me because one day i will be back among the living and will have a rockin body that will make all my family jelous and then i will take my baby and vaca it up at an amazing location and leave them at home!! and no they are not invited to my get a way and they are not invited to my pitty party either! i hope tomarrow will be better